They have gone back to school and I am slowly putting the house, especially the Man Cave, back together. They have become an interesting bunch. The younger ones demanded air freshener for the Man Cave as the eldest claimed it for his. The pecking order never changes! The eldest gets what he wants and the rest fall in to place. When the eldest is gone, the second eldest rules...and so on. Unfortunately for the fourth, well, he bosses the dogs around. They sort of listen but still also consider him a litter mate.
Of course, woe be to anyone who tried to pick on any of the brothers. They would all rally around and have absolutely none of it. Which is why we put up with all the shenanigans in the first place. They love each other. They do not always like each other but they love each other.
Back to the cleaning note. I am now vacuuming with a Shop Vac. And while I didn't select it for it's brute force (the vacuum cleaner, "Dyson's The Animal" is in for repair) it does make a certain amount of sense. It sucks up ANYTHING. And there is lots of ANYTHING around. The problem is it is not ergonomic. It almost makes more sense to vacuum on my knees so I am closer to the ground and the flexible hose. Clearly not designed by a woman, OR a man who vacuums a lot. And it doesn't really go up the stairs well either.
I think I may try "re purposing" some other items and see where it leads me.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Friday, December 18, 2009
Four
They are all home!!! I am so happy. They run around, nip and bite at each other like little puppies...and they are all ages 14 and up. The noise, the mess, the chaos...it is so good. That I feel this way surprises me somewhat ( I do love neatness and order), but not a lot.
I have never been one of those moms who couldn't wait for her kids to get into school all day and couldn't wait for her kids to go off to college. I am also not insane. I relish the quiet of some days and look very forward to silence and getting things straightened up...for a brief moment until they get home. But I always have thought that I will miss the cacophony of boy-ness when they are all on their adult ways.
The"Social Order" has emerged again. The older two are off at school out of state, so the younger two have their rituals. For example, if the youngest is in the front seat and we pick up his older brother, it is a given that he will move. Why? Well, because he'll get his bum yanked out of the front seat eventually, so why not do it before it's done for him? Control is key, and the youngest pretty much has none. (I delude myself into thinking that I actually have some, but that's a whole other column).
So now the older two are home, putting the third and former kingpin in his place. And of course the older two also need to establish "order." The eldest drives the car he wants, the second eldest gets the "other" one...which just so happens to be MINE but is not as cool as the stick shift. Before anyone thinks there's an eight car garage filled with cars to pick from, prior to the untimely death of our ancient Volvo, there was not a car in our arsenal with less than 135,000 miles on it. We are talking cars that NEVER came with big red bows on them.
Then there is the Man Cave. The futon in the Man Cave is coveted. Even IF the second oldest had arrived home first, there would have minimally been a wrestling match for it. The oldest is strong. He also arrived home first. Why is the futon so coveted? It's view of the TV, of course, and it is pretty comfortable. The list goes on.
The dynamics have been fun to watch. I have not had to mediate (or bring in the cold hose) yet. These are the good old days.
Happy holidays!!
I have never been one of those moms who couldn't wait for her kids to get into school all day and couldn't wait for her kids to go off to college. I am also not insane. I relish the quiet of some days and look very forward to silence and getting things straightened up...for a brief moment until they get home. But I always have thought that I will miss the cacophony of boy-ness when they are all on their adult ways.
The"Social Order" has emerged again. The older two are off at school out of state, so the younger two have their rituals. For example, if the youngest is in the front seat and we pick up his older brother, it is a given that he will move. Why? Well, because he'll get his bum yanked out of the front seat eventually, so why not do it before it's done for him? Control is key, and the youngest pretty much has none. (I delude myself into thinking that I actually have some, but that's a whole other column).
So now the older two are home, putting the third and former kingpin in his place. And of course the older two also need to establish "order." The eldest drives the car he wants, the second eldest gets the "other" one...which just so happens to be MINE but is not as cool as the stick shift. Before anyone thinks there's an eight car garage filled with cars to pick from, prior to the untimely death of our ancient Volvo, there was not a car in our arsenal with less than 135,000 miles on it. We are talking cars that NEVER came with big red bows on them.
Then there is the Man Cave. The futon in the Man Cave is coveted. Even IF the second oldest had arrived home first, there would have minimally been a wrestling match for it. The oldest is strong. He also arrived home first. Why is the futon so coveted? It's view of the TV, of course, and it is pretty comfortable. The list goes on.
The dynamics have been fun to watch. I have not had to mediate (or bring in the cold hose) yet. These are the good old days.
Happy holidays!!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Three
It has never ceased to amaze me how NICE my children are when they are ill. Currently one of the members of the Testosterone Palace is home with the dreaded H1N1 trifecta...cough, fever, sore throat. He is grateful, appreciative, QUIET. Of course the other lads are not home from school yet, so the quiet is a numbers thing, too. As a working parent, I was not home this AM when the illness presented itself. Thus, I did not hear the chorus of "faker," "what homework didn't you do?" or "think you'll recover in time to clean the bathroom?? It's your week." Their dad was the lucky one.
It is always the dilemma...how old is old enough to leave them home for the day, checking in frequently, of course. How guilty do I feel that it's not a given that I can be there all the time when this stuff comes up? I always think of the great Dr. Seuss line in "Oh The Places You'll Go". Something along the lines of going forward with tact and remembering life is a balancing act. So true, so true.
While an ill child will always reassure you they will be fine, secretly I think they love it when they are fussed over and made time for...whatever time works for your family and lives. The beauty of it all is how individual it is.
It is always the dilemma...how old is old enough to leave them home for the day, checking in frequently, of course. How guilty do I feel that it's not a given that I can be there all the time when this stuff comes up? I always think of the great Dr. Seuss line in "Oh The Places You'll Go". Something along the lines of going forward with tact and remembering life is a balancing act. So true, so true.
While an ill child will always reassure you they will be fine, secretly I think they love it when they are fussed over and made time for...whatever time works for your family and lives. The beauty of it all is how individual it is.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Two
Rather than entering these as Day One I have made the decision that they should simply be numbered...sequentially although random would probably fit too. The expectation of writing something everyday could be seen as pressure. And who needs any more of that?
One of my wonderful sons and I came to an agreement the other day. Like many of us, I have some pretty brilliant children. Well this one really does not like school. We have tried everything. "Logical consequences", bribery (some call this incentives...it is what it is) in the form of "rewards", threats, "adult" discussions (that's where we keep our volume level where OSHA claims nobody will have permanent hearing loss and listen to him explain why his viewpoint is, of course, the only correct one), at home "study hall", study spaces...you get the idea. Oh, and did I mention organizational coaches and therapy?
The agreement we reached is that he will graduate...on time. This leaves him 3.5 semesters. Naturally in the classes he finds interesting he is getting fine grades. Interesting, among other things means little to no homework and easy, covered in class test material. Better yet open book tests. I may exercise my parental rights to question when the grade in any given class is the big goose egg, failing, zip-zero-nada. Trying to be an open minded, new millennium parent, I pointed out that he will need to live with his transcript. It may or may not hold him back at some point. We shook on it. He then asked if that constituted a binding contract and was answered with a resounding YES!
Here is the interesting thing. I feel better. He is understanding the reality of my "you own this" comment. He is absolutely feeling better. And I am as always, once again learning that my children are possibly wise beyond their years and want to be treated in an age appropriate manner. What a concept.
One of my wonderful sons and I came to an agreement the other day. Like many of us, I have some pretty brilliant children. Well this one really does not like school. We have tried everything. "Logical consequences", bribery (some call this incentives...it is what it is) in the form of "rewards", threats, "adult" discussions (that's where we keep our volume level where OSHA claims nobody will have permanent hearing loss and listen to him explain why his viewpoint is, of course, the only correct one), at home "study hall", study spaces...you get the idea. Oh, and did I mention organizational coaches and therapy?
The agreement we reached is that he will graduate...on time. This leaves him 3.5 semesters. Naturally in the classes he finds interesting he is getting fine grades. Interesting, among other things means little to no homework and easy, covered in class test material. Better yet open book tests. I may exercise my parental rights to question when the grade in any given class is the big goose egg, failing, zip-zero-nada. Trying to be an open minded, new millennium parent, I pointed out that he will need to live with his transcript. It may or may not hold him back at some point. We shook on it. He then asked if that constituted a binding contract and was answered with a resounding YES!
Here is the interesting thing. I feel better. He is understanding the reality of my "you own this" comment. He is absolutely feeling better. And I am as always, once again learning that my children are possibly wise beyond their years and want to be treated in an age appropriate manner. What a concept.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Day one
I miss Erma Bombeck! I miss her wit, her insight and her ability to make me laugh, cry and reflect in one lone column. I have been thinking that we need a new "issue" of her. Someone of this generation who was a career person before they were a mom...and still works outside the home full time at their "other" full time job. Someone like me.
Before anyone goes off thinking for one moment that I do NOT think staying at home is a full time career, let me be clear. Some of us worked before we had children (if you have never worked and have no children, you are a different breed than someone who might find this interesting) and some of us have continued to work OUTSIDE the home now that we have children. Staying home is noble and wonderful if it is what you think is best for your family...and you can still manage to eat. Now don't go off about budgeting, either. This is only meant to be a light hearted look at juggling life. Whatever your life is right now.
Before anyone goes off thinking for one moment that I do NOT think staying at home is a full time career, let me be clear. Some of us worked before we had children (if you have never worked and have no children, you are a different breed than someone who might find this interesting) and some of us have continued to work OUTSIDE the home now that we have children. Staying home is noble and wonderful if it is what you think is best for your family...and you can still manage to eat. Now don't go off about budgeting, either. This is only meant to be a light hearted look at juggling life. Whatever your life is right now.
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