Three

It has never ceased to amaze me how NICE my children are when they are ill. Currently one of the members of the Testosterone Palace is home with the dreaded H1N1 trifecta...cough, fever, sore throat. He is grateful, appreciative, QUIET. Of course the other lads are not home from school yet, so the quiet is a numbers thing, too. As a working parent, I was not home this AM when the illness presented itself. Thus, I did not hear the chorus of "faker," "what homework didn't you do?" or "think you'll recover in time to clean the bathroom?? It's your week." Their dad was the lucky one.

It is always the dilemma...how old is old enough to leave them home for the day, checking in frequently, of course. How guilty do I feel that it's not a given that I can be there all the time when this stuff comes up? I always think of the great Dr. Seuss line in "Oh The Places You'll Go". Something along the lines of going forward with tact and remembering life is a balancing act. So true, so true.

While an ill child will always reassure you they will be fine, secretly I think they love it when they are fussed over and made time for...whatever time works for your family and lives. The beauty of it all is how individual it is.

Two

Rather than entering these as Day One I have made the decision that they should simply be numbered...sequentially although random would probably fit too. The expectation of writing something everyday could be seen as pressure. And who needs any more of that?

One of my wonderful sons and I came to an agreement the other day. Like many of us, I have some pretty brilliant children. Well this one really does not like school. We have tried everything. "Logical consequences", bribery (some call this incentives...it is what it is) in the form of "rewards", threats, "adult" discussions (that's where we keep our volume level where OSHA claims nobody will have permanent hearing loss and listen to him explain why his viewpoint is, of course, the only correct one), at home "study hall", study spaces...you get the idea. Oh, and did I mention organizational coaches and therapy?

The agreement we reached is that he will graduate...on time. This leaves him 3.5 semesters. Naturally in the classes he finds interesting he is getting fine grades. Interesting, among other things means little to no homework and easy, covered in class test material. Better yet open book tests. I may exercise my parental rights to question when the grade in any given class is the big goose egg, failing, zip-zero-nada. Trying to be an open minded, new millennium parent, I pointed out that he will need to live with his transcript. It may or may not hold him back at some point. We shook on it. He then asked if that constituted a binding contract and was answered with a resounding YES!

Here is the interesting thing. I feel better. He is understanding the reality of my "you own this" comment. He is absolutely feeling better. And I am as always, once again learning that my children are possibly wise beyond their years and want to be treated in an age appropriate manner. What a concept.

Day one

I miss Erma Bombeck! I miss her wit, her insight and her ability to make me laugh, cry and reflect in one lone column. I have been thinking that we need a new "issue" of her. Someone of this generation who was a career person before they were a mom...and still works outside the home full time at their "other" full time job. Someone like me.

Before anyone goes off thinking for one moment that I do NOT think staying at home is a full time career, let me be clear. Some of us worked before we had children (if you have never worked and have no children, you are a different breed than someone who might find this interesting) and some of us have continued to work OUTSIDE the home now that we have children. Staying home is noble and wonderful if it is what you think is best for your family...and you can still manage to eat. Now don't go off about budgeting, either. This is only meant to be a light hearted look at juggling life. Whatever your life is right now.